Remember to turn 'This Switch' Off!

As a newcomer to Beirut everything is still a novelty: daily 3-hour electricity cuts, the sound of diesel generators kicking in, buying gallons of drinking water worried if I have to haul it up 8 flights of stairs if the elevator is out of order.  

I’m getting used to constantly asking someone where something is, or how it works, and relying on them to point me in the right direction. At least I can feel rest assured in the wee small things like flushing a toilet with a simple press of a button and hot water 24/7 – or so we thought.

About a week after moving into our apartment, home-life starts to take on a new rhythm, a new normality. Mikey is the first to wake, has playful wrestle with Mateo, shaves and showers, bids us farewell, and off to work he goes. All normal. One morning Mateo and I go to shower and out of the blue there’s no hot water. NOT normal.

Lifting a shivering Mateo out of the tub, I’m searching for a logical explanation, debating whether Mikey just took the mickey for not stating the bleeding obvious before leaving the house - plausible - or if he really has superhuman cold-water resistant qualities…hmmm. 

Searching for the cause to no avail, I probe Mikey “How was your shower this morning dear?” From the long pause at the end of the line I can tell he’s wondering if it’s a trick question, a trap! Then he comes clean “Oh yeahh, there was no hot water. I forgot to tell you...sorrry’. 

 
But no matter, I also dropped the white elephant in the “too hard” basket suspecting that this little inconvenience is going to take some energy to work out. Perhaps if I take no notice it just might miraculously come good by end of the day fingers crossed. 

So instead I turn my attention to a far more pressing “meltdown” unfolding outside our apartment window: a major protest at the state-run Electricite du Liban. Workers have hijacked the company’s headquarter setting tires alight and reportedly threatened to set the building ablaze if their employment demands aren’t met (they don’t do things by half measure here).

Thankfully the building is still intact but the national electricity isn’t. The Daily Star reports electricity supply has been deteriorating across the country due to maintenance works at major power plants, suspension of power imports from Egypt and Syria, ongoing strikes, and of course the real reason behind it all is political power play. 

The protests may be drastic but electricity, diesel, food and water are high priced commodities and a constant source of antagonism - as I’m just about to learn for myself.

As my afternoon presses on hope for hot water has well and truly dried up. It’s time to knock on my neighbour’s door (again). Our good Samaritan starts fishing around the apartment in search of our boiler, and to no surprise, he reports it’s stone cold. We then proceed to the kitchen and inspect the electricity unit above our fridge.

  

My good neighbour enquires ‘How long has ‘zis switch been on?’ Like a little kid who is about to get in trouble but doesn’t know the reason, I reply hesitantly “Since we moved in of course." Shaking his head frowning, "Zis is your diezel generator switch, you’re supposed to turn it on ONCE a day for 20 minutes to heat your water, THEN YOU TURN IT OFF!’ 

Yep, there's not a drop left in the diesel tank. Zero, Zilch. We’ve gone through enough diesel to last the WHOLE summer!! Four months worth fizzled up in 10 days. OUCH. My neighbour makes light of the situation “Never mind, it is a mizz-understanding, you’re not used to our way, yani ‘zis is Lebanon” he sighs apologetically.

Maybe when our landlady gave us a rundown of all the switches to the apartment (both inside and out) between our broken Arabic, French and English that vital piece of information got lost in translation. Malesh.

That evening Mikey and I cool off our $400 refueling woes over a beer looking out across buildings entangled in an incredible amount of switches, cables, and dishes strangling building facades, weaving down walls and interconnecting rooftops like jungle weed.

I turn to Mikey paranoid in mid thought “Have you turned the the switch off?”

Living A Fairytale

We have been at our serviced apartment/hotel for over a week and we're all getting very comfortable with the ‘service’ part of the deal. The room is cleaned daily and my heart skips with joy when the housekeeper delivers our package of pressed laundry. I'm all excited like a princess twirling in my heavenly-scented snow whites.  The thought of loading and (reloading) the washing machine is now a distant memory.

Even Mateo is happy with his digs. I caught His Highness waving from our balcony to a group of children playing at a nursery opposite our building. Seizing the opportunity, I hand him over to the nursery to play with the kids. Waltzing away I kiss my little prince goodbye “See you at 4. Ta ta!”.

What a difference a week makes. Everyone is LOVING their new found freedom! But our self-eviction had arrived all too soon and the ‘suite’ life had to come to an end. It was time to find our own apartment to call ‘home’- washing machine and all. 

After a disappointing week of apartment hunting around Hamra we realise we’re out of our league. Two factors are against us: (1) there’s a rental squeeze gripping Beirut, especially Hamra, and (2) high season is upon us which means an influx of foreigners moving in for summer. Unless you’re willing to pay a princely sum of $2000US per month (and over) the area is not worth a look. Anything under that amount apartments are either the size of a shoebox or plain shabby.

The DIY approach to renting in Beirut is time consuming and having no success on our own we opted for an agent to help us. Thankfully, he was a real find. He let it slip that he lived in Switzerland for over a decade and Mikey’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. The two hit it off instantly. “Don’t worry I’m going to help you find just what you’re looking for. Have you thought about moving to Achrafieh? It’s a family neighbourhood, safe, less expensive” he explains.

He was right. The second apartment we inspected was The One. We actually saw it advertised online however looking in awe at pictures of its grand views, big rooms and large kitchen we thought it was way out of our budget.  Thanks to Mateo, he sealed the deal for us. Laying his charm on thick with the landlady, she made us a deal we couldn’t refuse and the next day we had the keys to our very own palace.

View from apartment looking out to Journieh Bay

Like a happy fairytale ending we bid our farewells to the hotel staff and housekeeper. Life is bliss until...

When it came to settling the bill I almost dropped dead from shock. The laundry fee came to (gulp) $200US. I nervously handed back the statement “Oh no, no, no there’s a mistake, see there’s one too many ‘0’s, it should read $20”. The concierge - now turning into The Joker from Dark Night sneers “No mistake Madam, that’s how much your laundry cost”. For FIVE lousy loads of laundry!?!  Frozen in disbelief I felt the tiara slip off my head. Silly me for not asking the price for a bag of washing at a 3 Star hotel in Beirut. Oops lesson learned. “OK...” I regretfully respond throwing crisp $20 dollar bills down the gurgler “...its back to the washing machine I go heigh-ho, heigh-ho”.