Buckle Up, You're In For A Ride

How can I come to Lebanon and not blog about the traffic? It's the Achilles in every driver's heel!

There are two types of traffic conditions in Lebanon, the first being "gridlock". If you are in a car during rush hour in Beirut, you can sympathise with those Lebanese who say in despair that the country is going nowhere. The other is "kamikaze". Lebanon has it's own traffic rules and people's desperate means  to get from A to B is not for the fainthearted.

To be fair on Mikey, he is an excellent driver and I don't have a problem getting in the car with him. But for long distances, I'm a nervous passenger and he usually gives me a pep talk to help calm my nerves before driving off "Just remember to breathe okay, breathe in-out-in-out. Relaaaax just go with the flow...that's why I don't use the mirrors I'm only concerned about what's in front of me."

"yea, on-coming traffic HELLO!" I heckle back like a proper backseat driver.

Breathe in-out-in-out. 

To create a calm, yet joyful atmosphere in the car Mikey usually pops on a nursery-rhyme CD "for Mateo" he insists.  Heading down the highway, Mateo is safely strapped in his restraint in the backseat, blissfully clapping along to the music while I'm in the front seat intermitting between singing and screaming "if you're happy and you know it COVER YOUR EYES!" 

It's true, being the driver is better than being the unfortunate passenger who has to sit quiet and take in the 'scenery'. And from my observations of Mikey's new driving habits, and the habits of those sharing the road, it made me consider the 10 worst. Any of these sound familiar? 

1. Overtaking in to on-coming traffic around a bend: Oh C'mon, everyone has 20/20 vision, besides, there's enough room for everyone! 

2. Speeding: It's hard to keep up with the Porsche, Lamborghinis or Ferraris, that's behind you beeping it's horn and flashing it lights to move you along. 

3. Tailgating: If flashing the lights and beeping the horn just isn't enough, try dodging between cars - relax I promise to miss you by a millimetre. 

4. Not indicating: I'm sorry, what's indicating? if I just swerve towards people they'll move out of the way. 

5. Crossing solid white lines: What are these lines of which you speak? Maybe they're underneath the rubble. 

6. Not knowing which lane you should be in: Oh that's easy, the fastest one. 

7. Roundabouts: Make sure you never, ever give way. Sticking your arm out of the window to direct traffic is the best way to cut across as you're about to miss your exit. 

8. Queue jumping: Who said desert safari is only for the desert? Why have a 4 wheel drive if you can't mount the curb and push that little Asian car out of the way? 

9. Not wearing a seatbelt: But kids love the seatbelt to swing from like Tarzan, and jumping on mum's lap is so much fun while protruding their little heads out of the window. 

10. Driving on the phone: How else am I meant to have a conversation with the lady in the car next to me, check my facebook AND tweet my road-rage: #traffic #SUX :( 

So, have I missed any driving habits you'd like to share? Feel free to add to the comments box