I remember when I was young I desperately wanted to get chickenpox, I wanted those days off school real bad. I was jealous of every kid lucky enough to have the “varicella vacation” in the middle of school term. As the years went on, one by one, they bragged about it in the schoolyard “calamine lotion, oatmeal baths, lollypops, Atari” I cursed under my breath, why-oh-why not me?
Not in million-gazillion years could I imagine my time would finally come three decades later in blistering hot Beirut. Cheers. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! I’m spotty, itchy, and bitchy. My suitable misery is however the source of good humour, I’m actually the last casualty in a line of infirmity which has plagued our household. They say bad luck comes in threes…
It all began when I started searching for a local pediatrician for “just-in-case”. Being an expat mum requires a bit of forward thinking, if a problem should strike you don’t want to be without one, right? When I went to ask at the local clinic for the name of a children’s doctor I was promptly given a phone number on a piece of paper. “Let’s hope you don’t need to call him inshalla” the receptionist thoughtfully wishes.
That afternoon little Mateo comes home from the nursery feverish and cranky. I’m thinking it’s nothing more than signs of teething but then he develops a rash overnight. "That’s odd, you’ve never had heat rash before" I inspect. Of course being a mum means you’re instantly an expert in skin diseases.
By end of the day his spots turn to blisters. I do a Google search and realise his symptoms are beginning to look more like chickenpox. I go to ask a pharmacist but he thinks it’s a heat rash “common this time of year” he says loading me up with lotions - just in case.
I’m now breaking a sweat feeling nervous about my own fate “what if it is chickenpox? Mikey is immune but what will happen to me?” My sudden bout of itching seems to jump all over my body.
Not taking any chances, I call the doctor. My voice is quivering, suffuse with panic. In 30 seconds I made my own diagnoses starting with a benign case of chickenpox and ending in leprosy. The doctor whispers in calm voice “it’s probably a heat rash but come to my clinic tomorrow - just in case. I’m currently supervising my student’s last medical exam for the year.”
WHAT? red with embarrassment I apologise profusely for calling him on his private mobile (I later learned calling doctors on their mobile is normal custom here how brilliant!). To relieve my anxiety I read up on people’s experiences of chickenpox on forums. Bad move. For young children it’s considered a rite of passage, they even throw parties for the occasion, but no one on this ENTIRE planet has a good thing to say about adult chickenpox. Period.
Surely I was vaccinated? I call mum to confirm but she has no record. Going back to Google, again it brings me no luck - vaccination in Australia wasn’t introduced till 2001. Now I’m having heart palpitations “search HEART ATTACK”.
At the doctor's clinic, I’m hearing the words “highly contagious”, “isolation for a week”, “no nursery for Mateo” and “pray you don’t get it”. I'm nervously thinking about our impending lock-down at home with a hyperactive child. It’s not looking good.
Sure enough, the following week at home was insane. Cooped up in the house, Mateo was like a bull in a china shop. Mikey would return from work to an unrecognisable home. Bewildered he assess’ the damage, collecting debris along the way: child intact ‘good’, mother seething ‘bad’.
Not in million-gazillion years could I imagine my time would finally come three decades later in blistering hot Beirut. Cheers. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! I’m spotty, itchy, and bitchy. My suitable misery is however the source of good humour, I’m actually the last casualty in a line of infirmity which has plagued our household. They say bad luck comes in threes…
It all began when I started searching for a local pediatrician for “just-in-case”. Being an expat mum requires a bit of forward thinking, if a problem should strike you don’t want to be without one, right? When I went to ask at the local clinic for the name of a children’s doctor I was promptly given a phone number on a piece of paper. “Let’s hope you don’t need to call him inshalla” the receptionist thoughtfully wishes.
That afternoon little Mateo comes home from the nursery feverish and cranky. I’m thinking it’s nothing more than signs of teething but then he develops a rash overnight. "That’s odd, you’ve never had heat rash before" I inspect. Of course being a mum means you’re instantly an expert in skin diseases.
By end of the day his spots turn to blisters. I do a Google search and realise his symptoms are beginning to look more like chickenpox. I go to ask a pharmacist but he thinks it’s a heat rash “common this time of year” he says loading me up with lotions - just in case.
I’m now breaking a sweat feeling nervous about my own fate “what if it is chickenpox? Mikey is immune but what will happen to me?” My sudden bout of itching seems to jump all over my body.
Not taking any chances, I call the doctor. My voice is quivering, suffuse with panic. In 30 seconds I made my own diagnoses starting with a benign case of chickenpox and ending in leprosy. The doctor whispers in calm voice “it’s probably a heat rash but come to my clinic tomorrow - just in case. I’m currently supervising my student’s last medical exam for the year.”
WHAT? red with embarrassment I apologise profusely for calling him on his private mobile (I later learned calling doctors on their mobile is normal custom here how brilliant!). To relieve my anxiety I read up on people’s experiences of chickenpox on forums. Bad move. For young children it’s considered a rite of passage, they even throw parties for the occasion, but no one on this ENTIRE planet has a good thing to say about adult chickenpox. Period.
Surely I was vaccinated? I call mum to confirm but she has no record. Going back to Google, again it brings me no luck - vaccination in Australia wasn’t introduced till 2001. Now I’m having heart palpitations “search HEART ATTACK”.
At the doctor's clinic, I’m hearing the words “highly contagious”, “isolation for a week”, “no nursery for Mateo” and “pray you don’t get it”. I'm nervously thinking about our impending lock-down at home with a hyperactive child. It’s not looking good.
Sure enough, the following week at home was insane. Cooped up in the house, Mateo was like a bull in a china shop. Mikey would return from work to an unrecognisable home. Bewildered he assess’ the damage, collecting debris along the way: child intact ‘good’, mother seething ‘bad’.
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| Day 1. Mateo sorting the laundry "now you see it, now you don't" |
Thankfully Mateo’s virus was very mild and after one week his few spots healed over. To celebrate his speedy recovery we eat out for Sunday brunch along the Corniche. Feasting on a banquet of different BBQ meats, salads and raw kibbeh (raw mince), everything was well again.
Scoffing down the kibbeh Mikey makes an insightful remark “Imagine getting food poisoning from raw mince, I recon it would be horrible, like really H O R R I B L E” licking his fingers.
The next day he comes home from work complaining of a migraine. I seem to remember hearing words like “hot”, “dizzy” and “cold sweat”. And then I hear horrible barfing noises coming from the loo, honestly it sounded like he was murdering a donkey. Acute food poisoning smacks Mikey flat for the rest of the week. Great. Another week in the house nursing casualty No.2.
Few days go by and just when I thought I got away with my fatal illness, I feel an itch in the back of my neck. Thinking it’s a mosquito bite I ignore it until the hot itch had spread to my chest. Looking in the bathroom mirror I cried in slow motion “NOOOO” seeing those dreaded pink spots.
Racing over to Michael still sprawled on the sofa moaning, “you’re going to the doctor with me, like, now.”
“Okay, I’m, coming…” he musters a slow vocal death as he’s peeling himself off the sofa.
By the time I actually made it to the medical clinic I was riddled with spots. The doctor makes a joke at my expense for being no “spring chicken” to be getting the pox (you can laugh too, haha). But when we were done with the small talk he moved onto serious words like “pneumonia”, “swelling of the brain” and even “death”. Yikes adult chickenpox is no laughing matter.
The good news is, because I acted quickly in getting a diagnosis (with 24hours of the spots appearing) antiviral medication will substantially lessen the shelf-life of the virus (yay) however there’s no consolation for another week of isolation (booo).
On our way out of the doctor’s office, the doc turns to Mikey and asks if he’s okay “you’re looking a little pale” he observes. Mikey manages to fumble a few words together “food, poisoning”. Doctor is laughing again, realising there’s good fodder for another joke “Can’t handle Lebanese food hey?! Maalesh it’s common for new comers - I recommend you stay away from kebbeh for example, raw meat - terrible!” Jovially slapping Mikey on the back.
So there you have it, three illnesses in three weeks, although it’s too easy to say it’s been a “poxy” start to summer. In time the queasy stomach will subside, the itch will recede and the spots will fade, however in years to come our tribulations will be remembered as another one of those funny travel stories.
Thank goodness I’m now at the end of my infection and came through remarkably unscathed. At least I can now say loud and proud “I got chickenpox and I survived!” Plus it’s never to late to feel you’ve made that ‘rite of passage.’ Best of all I want to say “thank you” universe for making everything happen EXACTLY as it’s meant to. If the three of us never got sick and laid up at home together Mikey and I may have missed a momentous milestone - seeing Mateo take his first steps. What could be a sweeter memory?!
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